 |
| Image ( via Magpie Tales) Google Images |
blood stains freckle
snow-white linen
rusted lace
adrenaline
sloppy split lip
apologetic kiss
hide my face
yet still
i hear
sharp-edged marbles
in your mouth tumbling
over scotch rocks
and little red last straws
nobody knows
the more
that doesn't meet their eye
no news is good weather
no bruise dear
it'll get better
we soothe ourselves
with lullabies
of true lies
just rest now
dear
let go of your world
pull up a chair
let go of my hair
the taste of bile
once on your lips,
how quick
the monster slips
away
i wait
i pray you drift soon,
soundly
sweetly
a little boy
on soiled sheets
a broken spirit
spinning webs
and licking wounds
under cover
locked jaw
unglued
Rene ~ January 10, 2013
d'Verse Poets, Meeting The Bar-The Medium Is The Message
For 100 Word Song
This weeks song:
"Debonair by The Afghan Whigs"
A rough song about substance abuse
and how it poisons relationships
breaking both bones and hearts
You have a real talent for poetry. Great writing.
ReplyDeletesome very cool descriptors rene...i like how linen and adrenaline play...the marbles and scotch rocks in the mouth...no news is good weather is an interesting line as well...nicely done...
ReplyDeletesharp edged marbles in your mouth
ReplyDeletetumbling over scotch rocks
and little red last straws
Oh, Rene. Your talent blows me away.
Pearl
dang...sharp edged marbles...tight images in this and well played on the dark mood
ReplyDeleteYow! These images evoke all sorts of pain, sadness. "We soothe ourselves with lullabyes and true lies." For me, that's the zinger!
ReplyDeleteThis is really uncomfortable to read, not because it's written badly - far from it, it's very skillfully composed - but because of all the hard-edged images and my responses to them. The lies we tell ourselves, each other and the world - all to try and maintain the pretence that everything is OK.
ReplyDeletePowerful words and mental images of the bruises, the blood. "We soothe ourselves with lullabies and true lies", the "it'll get better"....you have completely nailed the abusive relationship.
ReplyDeleteYou really brought this image alive, setting the reader on edge, dis-ease in every line. Very, very well done!
ReplyDeleteHow sad. It read like a house of violence and misuse. Very cutting images, touched my heart to the point I hope experince was fiction, but it read very real.
ReplyDelete...Tight write and gives many layers of forming your imagery... very nice...smiles...
ReplyDeleteVery vivid. Amazingly real. The taste of bile is unfortunately something I know too well so that left a bitter taste in my mouth but this poem had a eerie but very deep message. The picture that you have with it is very tragic looking- and gives insight to your poetic story :)
ReplyDeletealso hope it's fiction...'little red last straws'..biting narrative..;)
ReplyDeleteyou are so incredible. Each and EVERY time.
ReplyDeleteholy Cheezus.
and yes, the shoes are ALSO amazing.
ReplyDeletelol
what happens next
ReplyDeletebest wishes
j
Just to put you all at ease this is a work of fiction inspired by the Afghan Whigs song Debonair.
ReplyDeleteIt is a disturbing song about substance abuse and how it screws up relationships and lives.
A poem very well written and well structured. The lies are used to control the people but it is only illusory control and self-destructive because in truth is the only evil that can do us good.
ReplyDeleteI've been there, the images of the poem hit hard
ReplyDelete